When I say EGO, do you guys get what it actually means? For psychology students, what instantly comes to mind will be Freud’s definition of Ego which is the realistic part of the mind. The Ego does not let you overindulge in your pleasures but also does not allow you to be too perfect either.It actually looks like an iceberg because the EGO is the mediator.
However, the ego I am talking about is actually more towards the layman’s term of egoistic! I am writing this post from the perspective of daily encounters be it in a relationship, friendship and even business. Trust me, a lot of men out there are very egoistic especially when they are dealing with women in a business. Here are a few examples for GUYS and even egoistic women to take note off:
1. Ego destroy relationships because the egoistic party always want to WIN! When tempers flare, they always argue with you until the cows come home and exert their right over the whole relationship. You know when a person is ego when the person finds it hard to say these words during an argument “I am SORRY”
2. Ego affects business relationships as well. How I know this? Because I just had my first encounter recently. My mom use to be exasperated with the people she meets, especially men when some of them don’t even look her in the eye when they talk, they merely look at her business partner who is a guy! And they call this the age of equality? (yea right) My encounter on the other hand was when the guy tried to ego-talk me stating that he was right when he was clearly being extremely illogical……
3. Ego affects friendships as well. How it affects is clearly seen when two parties(many times guys) stop contacting one another over a simple thing such as heading out with another group of friends when he told his good friend he wasn’t going out. The best part is both guys don’t ask each other what’s wrong, they just start snubbing one another. For goodness sake, it actually happened to my father and his friend as well….sigh…
These are merely the few examples I am giving of EGO, I haven’t even touch on how ego leads to road rage. Most importantly, the person has to ADMIT that they have an ego problem before they can move forward and try to rectify things. Why not be rational and actually use what Freud defined. Once you let your ego over-rule you, it usually turns out NASTY! However, if you calm down and think it through, things won’t escalate into arguments or lost relationships or business.
- Example of EGO getting the best of you
I know this because I was given a jolt myself when Ben told me I was quite “ego” because I couldn’t back down from an argument. I always pride myself for being rational but what I didn’t realize was that it was very difficult for me to swallow my pride and admit that I was wrong. Although I am patient and don’t have a temper, but when I see ego thrown at me, I retaliate which is so NOT GOOD! Hence, I am trying to learn to better myself not only in a relationship but for business as well. I can’t fathom the thought of me throwing ego at a business partner and ruining things…..can you?
- After ego-ing, apologies in a picture is usually sent with chocolates!lol
So, just a thought for you guys who have a huge EGO…time to address that part of you before you let it overtake everything in your life..
xoxo
Meiz
I am spurred to write this post as I’ve recently heard one too many stories on greedy people and how they value money above relationships, especially with people they cared(or pretended to) about. Questions I will ask which may be relevant to you for reading this post:
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Have you been screwed over by a friend in business because they cheated you and ran away with the money?
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Have you been overcharged by a friend when you bought something from them out of the kindess of your heart? Instead of getting a discount, you get a raise in price.
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Has a relationship between you and your loved one(e.g., friend, relative) sour because of money?
Well, if you tick any of the above, do know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The story that left me speechless will be told here.
Someone way older than me was relating to me his experience of being betrayed by a friend because of MONEY(sometimes I think it’s evil). Don’t get me wrong, he was telling me to educate me because I was dampened by the fact that people always take advantage of me especially when it comes to negotiating prices. That aside, he told me that a “good friend” of his who was a lawyer actually helped him win a court case recently. He always gave this friend all of his business to handle properties and such. After that, he got the bill from his friend who charged him RM300,000 for a case which usually only cost RM100,000 +. Can you believe the nerve of this friend? Not only did he not give a discount, he overcharged and hiked up the price by 3x. The story gets better from here, the lawyer started blackmailing one of his partner’s because the lawyer found out that his partner didn’t give him the business of handling the legal issues for the recent deal closed. I saw the text message sent by this good lawyer friend of his, not only was it nasty and threatening, but it doesn’t denote years of friendship.
This was only one of the stories encountered, there are more closer to home, meaning it happened to a family member and also myself but I wouldn’t dwell into that. Maybe I live in a perfect world where I believe everyone is innocent, and don’t cheat. But why is it that humans are so greedy to see MONEY as the MOST important thing in their lives? More important than human relationships. Mind you, the lawyer guy mentioned is filthy rich, he drives a Ferrari and he cheats his good friend over money. The thing is these people don’t care whether you can pay them or not OR if they screw your life over, they just want money because greed overtook them. One word – DISGUSTING!
The thing is, you diss your good friends and for some, relatives over money and maybe for some, they don’t even feel guilty. That’s fine but were they thinking when they did that? Can you actually live life to the fullest with loads of money and no loved ones around?
I would take the memories of below anytime, anyday above money(especially not when I have to cheat people for it) – Meaningful people in my life
Rather than the constant worry of “who to trust” OR “how much should I get from him/her?”. One thing I will always remember my parents telling me, YOU CAN’T BRING MONEY INTO THE GRAVE WITH YOU!! In the end, would you have enriching experiences with people you love OR just be a lonely person thinking of what to do with your money?
Anyway, this is me ranting and creating awareness about douchebags out there that put MONEY on the pedestal and above human relationships. If you are one of those, I would say, please stay away from me! Also, good luck in living your life always worrying about money.
What about you readers, care to share on your own experiences with douchebags like this? I would LOVE to hear more so I can be careful of these people
xoxo
Meiz
When EGO is a monster! Do you let it destroy your relationships and business?
Published March 24, 2012 | 
Posted in Psychology - Human behavior, Relationship issues | 
business partner, business relationships, cows, ego, egoistic, equality, first encounter, freud, friendship, friendships, good friend, goodness sake, layman, mediator, mom, perspective, pleasures, psychology students, relationship, tempers | 
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