Everytime I write a psychological piece, many around me wonder whether it was something that triggered it. The answer is yes because everything in our daily lives revolves around different aspects of psychology. Plus, I want to keep sharing all that I have learn with you guys..
Today, a conversation with a friend stopped me in mid-sentence “Why would your friends want to meet me? I am a nobody”.
First of all, everyone is a “somebody” irregardless of how you see it, we play different roles in life from being a daughter/son to a father, wife, employee, etc. When someone says that which I have heard countless of times from different people, low self-esteem is at play. What exactly is self-esteem? It is person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own self worth.
Many factors trigger it from a controlling upbringing demanding the best(tiger mom) from your parents, to constant harassment on a certain part of your physical feature, to being a perfectionist but missing the mark at the best of times. If you constantly tell yourself you are a nobody, your consciousness will pick it up and YOU will actually start acting and being a nobody(being a shadow).
To overcome all these negative thoughts about youself, it all comes down to catching that negative thought of “I can’t do it!” to “that’s something do-able”. Always have a positive self-attitude and be optimistic about any challenges. It’s also best to stop being envious or jealous because comparing yourself to someone who you deem as better looking, successful, smarter, etc is detrimental because jealousy will rear it’s ugly head. Why have these negative emotions when you can just wish someone well and do your best yourself?
Most importantly, respect yourself for who you are, even the smallest thing such as being able to cook when you previously couldn’t can be an achievement to anyone! If you don’t respect yourself, how do you expect others people too?
Let me share with you a secret, low self-esteem has always plagued me while growing up because I expected alot from myself and my dad does too in terms of academics. The word “stupid” has been flung at me when I didn’t do well for my UPSR, but after that it was time to buck up after crying a bucket. Not only did I do well after that up till my University, but the never give up and being positive attitude is drilled into me… If I just wallowed in sadness and self-pity, I wouldn’t have gone on to do my PhD. Sometimes, when the thought of “I don’t think I can do it” creeps in, swatting it off and then delving into it to make something successful is what I do.. and I know all of you can too!
So, to cut the story short… There’s no such thing as you being a “nobody”. Everyone is a SOME ONE just by being on earth because each of us has a special role to play..
Even Bell thinks so!! Go forth and be the best you can be!
For those who were attracted to the title… you’ve either thought of it(Hope not), had a friend who’ve thought of it, study psychology, or want to learn more on this matter……
What triggered me to write this is a close friend of mine who’s recently committed suicide back in Hawaii by jumping off a building.. It happened about 1.5 weeks ago and to this date, I haven’t gotten the complete story as to why she did it …still reeling in shock!
The thing is I knew she had depression before and was trying to help her through it, hence I knew her instability… At that time, she couldn’t move, think straight and had to go back to her homeland which I thought was the best option. It was in the USA that I was exposed to the idea of people committing suicide because many of my close friends have also attempted it.
I didn’t have the knowledge about what depression was but after so much studying on it(even the biology part), I now understand that depression is a mental illness that needs to be tended to and not brushed under the rug. So, here is a little bit of psychology and how to tell whether someone is depressed?
person can’t sleep or you sleep too much
person can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
person feel hopeless and helpless
person can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
person have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
person are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual
person is consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior
person has thoughts that life is not worth living (seek help immediately if this is the case
That’s the symptoms associated with depression and within depression there are actually subtypes as well(which I will not go into).
In Malaysia, one of the problems is that we are not conditioned to think someone has depression or any psychological illness for that matter because it’s “taboo”. Plus, we are not educated to be aware of it..
Everytime I think of my friend, I always wished that I was there for her.. I don’t want any of you to experience a loss like this and would like to shout out and reach out to you to please not close the door to someone who’s depress! Equip yourself with the knowledge of what depression is, recognize the symptoms, and if you see your friends OR you experiencing it, PLEASE SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP!
There’s always hope and a way out…. All successful people have experience a low point in their life but what made them different is just these few words
They NEVER GAVE UP!
For Nu: A Bubbly, nice and cheerful person, you will be missed..