Self – Esteem – Everyone is a “somebody”
Published April 15, 2013 | 
Everytime I write a psychological piece, many around me wonder whether it was something that triggered it. The answer is yes because everything in our daily lives revolves around different aspects of psychology. Plus, I want to keep sharing all that I have learn with you guys..
Today, a conversation with a friend stopped me in mid-sentence “Why would your friends want to meet me? I am a nobody”.
First of all, everyone is a “somebody” irregardless of how you see it, we play different roles in life from being a daughter/son to a father, wife, employee, etc. When someone says that which I have heard countless of times from different people, low self-esteem is at play. What exactly is self-esteem? It is person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own self worth.
Many factors trigger it from a controlling upbringing demanding the best(tiger mom) from your parents, to constant harassment on a certain part of your physical feature, to being a perfectionist but missing the mark at the best of times. If you constantly tell yourself you are a nobody, your consciousness will pick it up and YOU will actually start acting and being a nobody(being a shadow).
To overcome all these negative thoughts about youself, it all comes down to catching that negative thought of “I can’t do it!” to “that’s something do-able”. Always have a positive self-attitude and be optimistic about any challenges. It’s also best to stop being envious or jealous because comparing yourself to someone who you deem as better looking, successful, smarter, etc is detrimental because jealousy will rear it’s ugly head. Why have these negative emotions when you can just wish someone well and do your best yourself?
Most importantly, respect yourself for who you are, even the smallest thing such as being able to cook when you previously couldn’t can be an achievement to anyone! If you don’t respect yourself, how do you expect others people too?
Let me share with you a secret, low self-esteem has always plagued me while growing up because I expected alot from myself and my dad does too in terms of academics. The word “stupid” has been flung at me when I didn’t do well for my UPSR, but after that it was time to buck up after crying a bucket. Not only did I do well after that up till my University, but the never give up and being positive attitude is drilled into me… If I just wallowed in sadness and self-pity, I wouldn’t have gone on to do my PhD. Sometimes, when the thought of “I don’t think I can do it” creeps in, swatting it off and then delving into it to make something successful is what I do.. and I know all of you can too!
So, to cut the story short… There’s no such thing as you being a “nobody”. Everyone is a SOME ONE just by being on earth because each of us has a special role to play..
Even Bell thinks so!! Go forth and be the best you can be!
xoxo
Meiz
Posted in Psychology - Human behavior | 
low self-esteem, optimism, positivity, psychology, self-esteem, somebody | 
4 Comments
Committing suicide.. a way out?! – NO WAY!
Published March 8, 2013 | For those who were attracted to the title… you’ve either thought of it(Hope not), had a friend who’ve thought of it, study psychology, or want to learn more on this matter……
What triggered me to write this is a close friend of mine who’s recently committed suicide back in Hawaii by jumping off a building.. It happened about 1.5 weeks ago and to this date, I haven’t gotten the complete story as to why she did it …still reeling in shock!
The thing is I knew she had depression before and was trying to help her through it, hence I knew her instability… At that time, she couldn’t move, think straight and had to go back to her homeland which I thought was the best option. It was in the USA that I was exposed to the idea of people committing suicide because many of my close friends have also attempted it.
I didn’t have the knowledge about what depression was but after so much studying on it(even the biology part), I now understand that depression is a mental illness that needs to be tended to and not brushed under the rug. So, here is a little bit of psychology and how to tell whether someone is depressed?
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person can’t sleep or you sleep too much
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person can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
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person feel hopeless and helpless
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person can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
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person have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
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person are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual
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person is consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior
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person has thoughts that life is not worth living (seek help immediately if this is the case
That’s the symptoms associated with depression and within depression there are actually subtypes as well(which I will not go into).
In Malaysia, one of the problems is that we are not conditioned to think someone has depression or any psychological illness for that matter because it’s “taboo”. Plus, we are not educated to be aware of it..
Everytime I think of my friend, I always wished that I was there for her.. I don’t want any of you to experience a loss like this and would like to shout out and reach out to you to please not close the door to someone who’s depress! Equip yourself with the knowledge of what depression is, recognize the symptoms, and if you see your friends OR you experiencing it, PLEASE SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP!
There’s always hope and a way out…. All successful people have experience a low point in their life but what made them different is just these few words
They NEVER GAVE UP!
Love always,
Meiz
For Nu: A Bubbly, nice and cheerful person, you will be missed..
Posted in Psychology - Human behavior | believe, commit suicide, depression, faith, hope | 6 Comments
Life’s lessons – No regrets!
Published February 27, 2013 | Was chatting to an old friend that day, a schoolmate from primary days and realized that the saying “things happen for a reason” is true to the mark after much reflection!
In your 50′s or 60′s, there will come a time when you feel that time is catching up on you FAST and you start thinking back to the good ol’ days. Some will realize that they have experience alot of failures and their life goes downhill from there to the feeling of regret and bitterness which is one of the last stages in Erikson’s 8 stages of psychosocial development – Ego integrity versus despair!
What I am writing now is related to how you are about to go through life, all of us want to be successful and for quite a few, have steps to get there.. For those who don’t, it’s time to start planning because it’s never too late!
But if you do come to a point in your life that you feel that you want to give up on life after reviewing your past.. DON”T! This is because at every step in your life, bad or good, there’s something you have gained which is experience and wisdom that others would never get if they didn’t go through it.
For example, after much chatting with my “pet sister” in primary school, aforementioned friend above .. I realized that the main reason I wanted to help troubled youth was because I tried to help one of my ex boyfriends to be a better person , to have a direction in life , because he played truant in high school and his parents didn’t help either by kicking him out of the house all the time and shutting him out. Since we broke up, I knew that my aim is to help troubled youths so they have a brighter future not be a nobody, without any career or ways to earn money as an adult .. It’s very easy for teens to be influenced by peers … so proper guidance is needed !!
The thing is never look back and regret something, but try to learn from it, pick yourself up and never repeat the same mistake… Bitterness is a hard pill to swallow ..
Truly hope you guys get where I am coming from … feel free to put your thoughts or email me if you have any questions on this matter..
xoxo
Meiz
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